My aunts are identical twins, and so were my great-grandmother and her sister. Knowing that there was a certain predisposition in my family, I always hoped to have twins. My chances were very low (only 1.6% of births worldwide are twins, according to the WHO), but I was lucky enough to win the genetic lottery, and today I’m a happy, sleep-deprived mom of a beautiful two-year-old girl and boy.
I feel very blessed to be living my dream. It’s incredible to see the special bond they share, and it gives me peace knowing they will always have each other. But just as the joy is double, I must admit the effort is too, and it can be truly exhausting. I’m not saying this to scare you—despite the tiredness, being the mom of these two little ones is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Plus, along the way, you learn to be more practical and let go of unnecessary pressures. I promise you, it only gets better.
If you’re expecting twins, welcome to this amazing adventure! Here are some tips I wish someone had shared with me two years ago:
Build a Support Network
Make a list of family members or friends who can lend a hand, beyond your mom, mother-in-law or sister. Believe me, you’ll need it because with twins, the demands double. It’s not enough for just one person to stay with them if you need to go out; especially when they’re smaller, you’ll need two people to help take care of them.
Accept All the Help
Don’t feel embarrassed; always accept when someone offers to wash the dishes, bring you food or watch the babies for a bit. That will free up time for you to do things you might not consider important but really are, like resting or getting a haircut. For example, I used to feel awkward when my in-laws offered to watch the twins so I could take a nap. But eventually, I accepted and it was the best thing I could have done. When they offered again, I didn’t hesitate.
Schedules Are Everything
I tried on-demand feeding for a while, but it drove me crazy. It may work well for some moms, but it’s a hard "no" when it comes to twins. There were days when I didn’t get even one hour of uninterrupted sleep in 24 hours because as soon as I finished feeding, changing and putting one to bed, the other would start up and I had to begin the whole process again. Setting schedules and syncing them will make all the difference. Trust me, all the difference.
Make Practical Decisions
Little things can save you a lot of time. One of the best purchases I made was a wireless breast pump. Instead of sitting still for 30 minutes, I could move around and use that time to fold laundry or cook. Another huge time-saver was starting to do my grocery shopping from my phone instead of going to the store. Preparing double portions of baby food and freezing half for emergencies was also incredibly helpful.
Stay Off Instagram and TikTok
It’s really frustrating to see those accounts of twin moms who seem to have everything under control. You see them perfectly put together with no signs of exhaustion; their babies never cry and are styled like they’re ready for a photo shoot. I hate to break it to you, but real life doesn’t work like that. Forget about getting your nails done—there are days when just taking a shower is an achievement. Unfollow those accounts and remove unnecessary pressures that, instead of inspiring you, will only cause frustration.
Take Your Time When Going Out
It’s nearly impossible to calculate your time with twins, especially in the beginning. I remember always being extremely late because, by the time everything was ready, it was already time to feed and change them again! I also recall that the first time we went on a weekend trip, it took me two days to pack, and I brought so much stuff it looked like we were moving houses. Of course, I didn’t use half of it, and there were things I didn’t think to pack that I actually needed. The good news is that as the months go by, you get more practical. For example, now I always pack the diaper bag the night before, and I’ve got a list of essential items for any trip.
If You’re Not a Twin Mom, You Don’t Know What It’s Like
There are people who love giving unsolicited advice. You’ll hear this more than once: “I’m not a twin mom, but I do have two kids and I can tell you what works is this or that”. Well-intentioned advice is appreciated, but no, having two little ones, even if they’re close in age, is not the same as having twins. My nanny, who has four kids, says that caring for twins is a whole different world. It’s better to connect with real twin moms who can share and support each other. Most importantly, always trust your instincts—nobody knows your babies better than you.
Understand That Each One Has Their Own Timing
My daughter started crawling almost three months before my son. I must admit I worried at first, but over time, I’ve learned not to fall into the comparison trap. Each child is unique and has their own developmental rhythm. Differences don’t mean one is better or more capable than the other. They simply have individual processes, and each will have their own special talents and abilities.
The challenge of being a twin mom is big, but it’s totally worth it. Watching them grow together and witnessing how each develops their own unique personality is truly magical. The bond they create with each other and with you is one of life’s greatest gifts. So, hang in there—the best is yet to come. You’ve got this!
