Let’s set the scene here: you and I have just met at the local library’s story time and we’re trying to strike up a friendly conversation with an adult for the first time in days while making sure our kids aren’t destroying the children’s section. Sounds familiar, right? As a parent, we know this conversation is going to be short lived, albeit much needed, because someone is about to poop their pants or request Goldfish for lunch.
I love this part of parenting- the commitment to forming bonds with other parents amidst the chaos of raising tiny humans. It lights me up both personally and professionally and I’m thrilled to have a space at ParentCo to strengthen that bond amongst this community.
As a pediatric sleep expert, I’m here to help you with all-things-sleep for your child ages 0-8 years old. There will be no “gate-keeping” with how to manage nap schedules, bedtime battles, overnight wakings, or early risers. Since we’ll be together for a while, let’s serve the kids Goldfish for lunch and grab a cup of coffee while I introduce myself!
Before becoming a sleep consultant, I spent 15 years in the classroom as a special education teacher. However, I’ve only been asked the question “why did you decide to become a teacher” once in my entire career.
I remember it vividly- the date was March 25, 2016 and the time was just before 8:30 p.m. I was in the OR, on the table, prepped and ready to have an emergency C-section 4 weeks before my oldest daughter’s due date.
I was terrified.
My husband and I had been told earlier that morning that my baby was breached and I had lost all of my amniotic fluid, even though my water never broke. My midwives could not give her time to flip upside down and make it full term for a vaginal birth, which was of course part of my birth plan. It was the Friday before Easter and everybody was off for the holiday, so my surgery kept being pushed back later and later in the day.
As if having a baby a full month early wasn’t enough fun, we had just moved into our first house 5 days prior. So while I was eating ice chips waiting for a doctor to be available, my mom and sister drove in from out of town and frantically began to unpack my entire house. My husband tried to work remotely (years before Zoom was a thing), my mother-in-law sat in the hospital room with us worried about the baby the entire day, and my father-in-law started painting every room in our house.
It was pure chaos.
Back to the OR - I was on the table, shaking uncontrollably (from nerves, the anesthesia, or both) and my husband was trying his best to keep me calm. “California Love” by Tupac was blasting over the OR speakers and we started laughing. The conversation went like this:
Me: “I can’t believe our baby is going to be born to a song they used to play at our 7th grade dances!”
Jon: “Wow, how did you remember it was 7th grade?”
Me: “I don’t know, probably because I liked my teacher?”
Jon: “Who was your teacher? Actually…WHY are you a teacher? We’ve never talked about this before!”
Me: (just laughter and then I felt lots of pressure in my abdomen…I’m not sure I even answered the question because Audriana was born shortly after)
Life changed forever at that exact moment. I realize now that the question “why did you become a teacher” was no longer as relevant to me as “who is your best teacher.” For the next 8 years, that answer would be “my children.”
That C-section taught me one of my first lessons of motherhood- you do not always have control.
This was (still is) a hard lesson to learn as someone who identifies as Type-A with a side of Control Freak.
I couldn’t control Audriana’s birth, I couldn’t control her latch while breastfeeding, and I couldn’t control her sleep. Three huge blows to deal with as I was recovering from surgery while trying to care for a newborn and find where I packed my underwear.
It took me a long time, therapy, and medication to process and heal from the trauma surrounding her birth. I quickly chose to exclusively pump and switched to formula by the time she was 4 months old. But sleep?
Gosh, sleep was a long journey.
I read quite a few sleep training books and every night, stared bleary eyed at my phone at 3:00 a.m. reading every single baby sleep blog I could find, trying to crack the code on the mystery that was my child’s sleep.
I eventually chose to sleep train her around 5 months old but naps didn’t truly come together until around 11 months old. We hit several speed bumps along the way and honestly, her sleep gave me nothing but anxiety.
Every night, I was anxious if she would fall asleep and if I would have any night wakings, even though she was generally a pretty good sleeper. I was militant about her wake times (one thing I could control) but they didn’t always work like the blogs said they should.
I didn’t have anyone to reassure me that I did the right thing for her. The books told me what to do, but were other moms really doing this?
Everyone I knew with a baby seemed to handle sleepless nights so well. I continued to be up most of the night panicking, even when my baby would sleep 10 hours straight. It was a nightmare that I literally could not wake up from because I was always awake.
Eventually, the SSRI medication helped me get the rest I needed and the chaos turned to calm for about a year. Then Audriana turned 2 and we spent an entire year dealing with night wakings that were impossible to handle because I was pregnant, off my medication, and exhausted. Sleep and parenthood are a rollercoaster not for the faint of heart.
When my daughter Olivia came along, I had a game plan and a huge support system in place in order to make her newborn period easier to handle.
I quickly went back on medication when PPD/PPA started to rear its ugly head. My in-laws were always helping with the kids. My family frequently flew in from out of town. My husband took 4 weeks off from work. Motherhood helped me switch from Type A to Type A-Minus and I handled Olivia’s early months with a lot more ease and grace.
However, when the time came, the methods I used to sleep train Audriana did not work AT ALL with Olivia. I was at another loss, reading and Googling, but not really finding the answer to my specific sleep issues.
I’m a very lucky mama with a patient and steady husband, a very supportive extended family, access to affordable mental health resources, and determination to give my kids the best version of me (which still includes a daily dose of Lexapro).
So why was the first year after birth so challenging for me? What was I missing from my postpartum period with both of my kids?
This was the missing piece of my puzzle. Sleep was so important to our family. In retrospect, I needed an expert in the science of sleep, sleep habits, sleep schedules, and sleep hygiene. Had I hired a sleep consultant to support us, I would have been confident in my plan to address my daughters’ sleep habits and I could have avoided many anxiously sleepless nights.
The personal one-on-one support of another experienced mom would have made all of the difference as I wearily struggled through those early months and challenging toddler years. It is my one regret- not hiring someone to teach me about my child’s sleep.
Luckily, this sparked an idea to make sleep consulting available to families so that they wouldn’t have to struggle as I did.
I love teaching…like really, really love it. I love to sleep…like can’t go without it. I also love to support other parents, because it takes an entire village to make it through life with little ones. I felt as though I made it through war during the early years of raising my girls and I had a desire to make that experience a little less tasking for other moms in the thick of it.
My husband recognized this and, in the middle of COVID, encouraged me to complete my certification and launch a business as a sleep consultant. It was a lofty goal, but I decided that now was a better time than never!
Since that day, I have now had the privilege of supporting over 500 families as they navigate through some of the most challenging parts of parenthood, in order to thrive and show up as the best versions of themselves for the children. I help babies, toddlers, and older kiddos get the healthy sleep they need for their growth and development.
I am humbled to say that I created my dream job and I wake up every morning, after a full night’s rest, ready to support other parents on this journey. I am on a mission to help other moms and dads who are struggling with their little one’s sleep, so that they, too, can wake up ready to take on their day after a great night of sleep.
When I’m supporting a family, they receive a personalized sleep program, which includes everything they need to know in order to achieve their child’s sleep goals. I use methods other than “cry it out” in order to allow parents to be involved in the process of teaching sleep. The magic lies in the text messaging and follow-up phone calls, where I provide specific feedback on your child’s progress and suggestions for continuing to make positive changes. The best part? YOU are an awesome teacher and I guarantee your child is brilliant. Therefore, they can learn a new way of sleeping in 2-3 weeks (usually less!).
I can’t wait to hold space for ParentCo. families and give you all the answers to your burning sleep questions. Be sure to check back for updates and special sleep support offerings for the ParentCo. community. And find Sarah at Your Zen Baby Sleep.
Sarah Bossio
Author