Whether you’re a seasoned parent or sending your child to kindergarten for the first time, the back-to-school season is a big transition for everyone, every year, no matter your age or grade.
It’s a shift in schedules, routines, and energy, and we do it on top of everything else. Not only are you continuing to show up to work and meet deadlines, keeping the laundry moving through its cycles, making sure the pantry is stocked, meals are on the table, and the kids are brushing their teeth, you’re also tasked with shopping for school supplies, preparing everyone to wake up earlier after a summer of sleeping in, and calming fears and anxieties around new schools, new classrooms, and new routines. It’s a lot!
While there may not be any way to predict all of the unexpected things that can surface around the back-to-school transition, there are things you can do to prepare yourself, your kids, and your home for a season that reduces overwhelm and brings a little bit of calm to the entire process.
Here are 7 things you can do to fight overwhelm this back-to-school season:
Your head is likely swimming with all of the things you need to do, buy, prepare, and remember this back-to-school season. As soon as you can,get it out of your head and onto paper or a digital page where you can see it. Mental lists alway feel so much bigger and more overwhelming than they actually are. But you have to shine a light on all the things you’re “thinking” in order to take an objective look and ultimately create a plan. and you do that by getting them out in the open. Here are some of the big things that will probably be on your list too:
Whether you’re in the habit of meal planning or not, do yourself a favor and decide in advance what your family will eat for dinner that first week of school, at least. When you’re all adjusting to new schedules and routines, the kids are exhausted from being “on” all day, and there are big feelings surrounding going back, having a plan for dinner is a must. The last thing you’ll want to be doing after a long day is deciding what you should eat.
Maybe you decide to get take-out each night. That’s totally fine! Or maybe having your family’s favorite comfort meal will be just what everyone needs after a big first day of school. It’s not about WHAT you eat, it’s about making the decision in advance so that after those first few long days, all you have to do is execute on the plan you already made.
It doesn’t matter how many years I’ve been managing back-to-school for my three kids, I’m still always surprised by the sheer volume of paperwork that comes home those first few days. There are handbooks and newsletters to read, field trip release forms to sign, emergency contact numbers to provide, and everything in between. It’s just a part of the back-to-school experience. Know that you’re going to need to set aside some time and potentially enlist some help to get it all done. Look at your schedule that first week of school and pencil in a time when you can sit down, grab a favorite snack or drink, turn on some music, and write or type until your hands cramp. But then it’ll be done and you won’t have to do it again…until next year!
Make sure that everyone is on the same page with school schedules, expectations, and sharing of responsibilities by hosting a fun, family meeting. Maybe it’s around the dinner table the week before school starts or maybe it’s a separate gathering with a fun treat on the weekend. Gathering the family together to set expectations and run through the calendar will put everyone at ease in a season when there are so many new and unexpected things happening. This is a critical conversation to have with a partner, co-parent, or anyone else helping with transportation or child care throughout the school year, but it’s also helpful for kids to get a picture of how things will work once everyone is back to school. For our family, even my kindergartener is reassured knowing what day of the week he has gym and who is walking him to school on different days (we have a “walkpool” with neighbors). It doesn’t have to be long or formal, just a quick check-in so everyone can visualize the calendar, ask any questions, and start to get on-board with the changes that are coming.
One of the best things I did this year was to create a visual checklist for each of my three kids that lists all of the things they need to do each morning before school. The lists include simple things like:
As they complete an item, they check the box until everything on the list is crossed off. While I certainly still have to help them with certain tasks, especially my youngest, it’s given me at least a few minutes back in my morning because instead of keeping that checklist in my head, it’s now something we can all see. And my kids take pride in quickly moving through their list and having the autonomy to choose the order and the timing.
Even the kids who are looking forward to school and seeing their friends again can have big feelings during a back-to-school transition. Your kid who seemed so confident might be full of tears and anxiety. Or your kid that has been fearful of starting school might walk in those front doors without looking back. It’s so hard to predict what going back to school will bring up in terms of feelings, so I find it best to expect and welcome it all! Whenever you catch yourself assuming how someone will “do” at school, remember that nothing is guaranteed and so much can change from day to day. Even with all the amazing preparation you’re doing, calling a family meeting, and making sure everyone understands the schedule, it’s still a lot and being in school all day can be tiring after a summer away. Be there with the hugs, the water, and whatever else your kids need as they make this transition. And don’t be surprised if you feel some big feelings as well. It’s a transition for everyone. But the good news is, it’s just a transition and transitions don’t last forever.
Whether it’s a daily walk, drinking plenty of water, getting a good night’s sleep, reading a novel, or moving your body, you need support too during this big transition if you’re going to fight overwhelm. Being the keeper of lists and schedules and managing everyone else’s big feelings about back-to-school is a lot to handle on top of all of the other things that you do.
Too many parents put taking care of themselves on the back-burner during stressful seasons. But keeping up with caring for yourself will actually make the rest more manageable. Maybe you scale back. Maybe you do a little less. That’s ok. Just decide now what activities or things support you and help you feel capable to manage your stress, and prioritize that. For me, it’s a daily walk, getting to bed by 10pm, and drinking plenty of water. If I want to keep things from falling through the cracks and be able to show up for back-to-school, that’s my minimum. What’s yours?
Katelyn Denning
Author